So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
