I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
