How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
