We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
