so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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