Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
