i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
