your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
