so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
