Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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