he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
