Plan B is the new Plan A
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Randomize
