PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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