Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
