he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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