Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
