I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
