I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
My Higher Power is John Stamos
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
