party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
