She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
