soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
