so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
