dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
