i was born a porn star she said
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Randomize
