I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
