I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Randomize
