Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
We are all done wearing pants today
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
