I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
