So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
