problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
