This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
