Since when is my name a synonym for head?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
