I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Randomize
