with your own penis?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
