Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
