I wish life had little blips of pornography
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i dont even know how to be here
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
