i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
