My vagina just recognized that song.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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