didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
