You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
