Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
