okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
