I just saw a hot homeless man
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
