I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
