you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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