we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
