dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
