I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
