I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
