I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
