just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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