Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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