I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
