Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Just cropdusted the office
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
