she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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