I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
