this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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