Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
