He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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