We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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