I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
the raccoons are back...
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