nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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