Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
just tell him i said nine months
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
