Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
